Whats jokes

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?

Me.

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"

SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"

HE: "I'm a butcher."

SHE: "We're through!"

Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?

Answer: Beethoven's last movement.

What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"

Stephen Hawking answers.

What is a definition of tight?

A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."

What do you call a three-legged cow?

Disabled.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

What do you call an Asian? A stupid gook.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.

What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool?

CANNONBALL! P.S. I made this myself.

What do you call high Mexicans?

Baked beans ;)

So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.

Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.

This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.

The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”