Whats jokes
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
"Trump 2020."
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
What's the worst thing about eating a shaved pussy?
Putting the diaper back on.
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.