Whats jokes

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Are you going to SHOWCON?

What’s SHOWCON?

Show con these nuts.

My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?

Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

What is Bugs Bunny's favorite dessert?

Chocolate carrots balls.

What did you call a school that got blown up?

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head and Shoulders.

What do you call a flying pig?

Fiction.