Whats jokes
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
I smell up dog in here.
"What's up, dog?"
Nothing much, how about you?
What did the female dog say to the mirror?
Hi, bitch!
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
Memes
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
What goes up stairs but doesn't move? Stairs! Laugh now!
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"