Whats jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?
Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?
Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.
Fat guy: Thinking.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Memes
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
What mountain do runners race on?
Mount Rushmore.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.