What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until a boy is 13 before it comes onto his face.
Whats Jokes
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
