Whats jokes
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What do you call a dinosaur that raps?
A VELOCI-RAPPER!
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
What do you call a rapper who can’t rap?
A wrapper with no FILLING.
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?
"Mix it up, yo!"
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
What do orgasms and pulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"
"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.
"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.
"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf and sex."