What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
Whats Jokes
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
