What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.