Whats jokes
What is the difference between an Isis training camp and a school?
Not sure, I just fly the drone.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What’s the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.