What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
Whats Jokes
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
What did Tennessee?
Same thing that Arkansas did.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?
Serial killers are wanted.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
Quiet kid reaches down and class starts running.
Quiet kid: What's wrong? Pulling out my...
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.
What hit the floor first, the emo or the apple? The apple, the rope stopped the emo.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?
"We are Pickle Ricks!"
What did the pickle do on the road?
It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"
