Whats jokes
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. đ
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
What are the four letters you donât want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
Itâs a bumper team.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?
"Who are you wearing?"
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?
The condom was actually useful at one point.
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, letâs hear,â said the teacher.
âMy Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldnât break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.â âShe shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.â
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
âStay away from Mummy when sheâs drunk...!!!â
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."