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Whats jokes

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.

“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."

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    • It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

    He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

    But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

    Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

    Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

    (Santa winks at you)

    So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

    He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

    The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

    The person says: "What's a dilo?"

    A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"

    "You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."

    The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"

    The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."

    "What about the boy?" the woman asked.

    The doctor said, "Denephew."

    Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

    Me: 15

    The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

    Me: Do you know what else is a number?

    The guy: What?

    Me: 911

    What is the difference between orphans and serial killers?

    Serial killers are wanted.