Whats jokes
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?
She had small tits.
What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'
'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."