Whats jokes
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the spoon."
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
What kind of jeans do you wear to church?
Holy jeans!
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.