Whats jokes
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What does a robot do after a one night stand?
He nuts 'n bolts!
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
I'm serious, what's a "dad?"
What is a "dad?"
What's Damo's favorite food?
Big slongs.