What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Whats Jokes
What do you get when Glen fucks an orange?
Adam.
What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a person who smokes?
Smokey the Bear.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
What's better than one dead baby?
Two dead babies.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.