Whats jokes
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
What do you call a five year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What kind of pictures do turtles take?
Shelfies.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
What’s the hardest part of a veggie to eat?
The wheelchair.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."