Whats jokes
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
What is the best part about having sex with 43 year olds?
There are 40 of them.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
What did the triangle say to the circle?
"You're pointless!"
So this guy we talked to wanted me to leave forever, and we said, "What? You never want to hear from me again?"
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!