Whats jokes
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
"Our souls will rain forever."
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
What flowers are on your face?
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What is the difference between whores and nuns?
Nuns usually discover their own chosen vocation. Whores usually have their vocation chosen by pimps.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
What animal is best at hitting baseballs?
A bat.
My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?
"What bus?"
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.