Well jokes

They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.

Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.

Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

Why is the Reaper not funny at all?

Well, he tells dead jokes!

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.

My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.

Me: *Realizes*

Can you go as a horse for Halloween?

Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!

When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.

Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.