Well Jokes

Why is the Reaper not funny at all? Well, he tells dead jokes!

Hey I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive, unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you at least.

Why are people in Japan so thin? Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

You have to do this and my sister said well I don't care and I said well you care enough to respond back oh my gosh.

When you think you're depressed but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self loating but then you realise that it in itself might actually be a symptom of depression

Well gang it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands

guy1:hey can you stop making 9 11 jokes my dad died during it guy2:sorry i will stop what was your dad guy1:the pilot he saw a kfc and wanted it so well you know

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them Sound familiar🤔 Well in september 11th...

Child:Hello I can’t find my dad.stranger:Oh well when and where did you last see him?child:Oh I remember 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

Person: So you know that persons name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dea Friend: Yeah John Wilkes Booth Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln. Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot

A man marries a blonde chick, live a happy life together and the man asks his wife if she wants kids she says "yes". So, a couple years go by, they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question"

A boy walks in to class with shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “where have you been” the boy says on a peach hill.

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “Where have you been” boy says on a peach hill.

Then a girl walk in a the teacher says “ And where on earth have you been” the girl says “ well you see...” then teacher stops her and says “ let me guess on a peach hill” girl says “ no on 2 big cucumbers.

This pastor decided to skip church one sunday morning and go play golf.

He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.

He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried is an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.

An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"

*The doctor asking why Ive broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

well what am i gonna do now...

How many dead baby's does it take to change a light bulb?

Well It's not 8 because my basement is still dark

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they're conjoined twins.