Well-being jokes
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis. We talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing with her about being suicidal. She's been very helpful throughout it. I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.
I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.
Just kidding.
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
We’ll be back.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.