Well-being jokes
Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Please stop hurting people's feelings, or they'll hang around the house.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
"Jack and Jill went home because he was sick because of the virus in town, gave him a frown, and his arms were pricked."
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Well, being an American is just a joke itself.
Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?
Hello everyone, have a great day and be positive!
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!