Weird jokes
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.
Like this if you think orphans are cool!
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
Logan Paul Vlogs
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Big, ugly, and very weird.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Koalas are weird. Why? I don't know!
Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.
I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱