It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language. Weird. Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(
I told my fam a joke
They all looked at me weird and one person even said “I’m sorry”
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Okay what do you call that purple thing your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend so for some weird reason? Dad better look out from Bob battery operated boyfriend hahaha
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend it was a good movie but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes through out the whole movie
you know you have weird indian parents when you can hear them canilingus eachother
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
I had sex with my German gf, it was kinda weird tho, she kept yelling her age. Idk why.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silluoette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
Dislike this if you think orphans are weird like this if you think orphans are cool
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Yo momma so ugly when she the and ugly weird the and she ugly!!!
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden
The pie tasted weird today. Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie WITH human flesh from C town.
