My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo a hippo is really heavy a zippo is a little lighter
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body and all that's left I'm afraid is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Why I can’t be skinny? i hurt myself for fatting.-jenny
hello please i want gaain wait-jenny year later
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around, that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender can squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time Weight Lifters, Lumberjacks, men in the Army, and Etc. But still, nobody could do it. One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet". After the laughter had died down the bartender said "okay" and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the Rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to Total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack a weight lifter or what?". The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS".
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her a onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hoola hoop
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Q- How much does a skeleton weigh? A- a skeleTON
aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills
My "overweight" friend and me were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?
Me: *annoyed*Jason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you're weight not you're phone number.
because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 pound life if you didnt weigh a 1,000
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
