Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
Your momma is so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio!
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.
I'm not fat!!
I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on an AirPod Pro, she turned it into an iPad!
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.
Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?
She got on the scale, said "to be continued."
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."
Yo mama so fat, when she went into an elevator, she had to go down.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.
Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.
Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.
Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.