Weight jokes

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...

A piece of cake.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.

Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.

Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

Worst joke Ever: What do you call a fat kom? A FAT MOM! LALALALLA!

Yo mama so fat, her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does.