Weight jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
Your mum so fat, she broke the stairs down to the fridge.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.
A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."
Yo mama so fat that she broke your computer!
lol
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
"Ton."
You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!