Weight jokes
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...
A piece of cake.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Your momma is so fat, she can't even go skinny dipping.
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By seeing who can eat the most at a buffet.
My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
The Earth was flat once. 'Til yo mama got buried.