Weight jokes
Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Yo mama is so fat even Dora can't explore her.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.
I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.
Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.
Your manna so fat your father will be coming around the mountain when he cums.
Yo mama so fat even God could not lift her spirits.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.