Weight jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Why are people in Japan so thin?

Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.

Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.

Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!

Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

What do we want? A cure for obesity.

When do we want it? After lunch.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...

A piece of cake.

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.

What is heavy forward but not backward?

"Ton."

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps