Weapon jokes
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
Why do you think China should have a baseball team?
They can destroy the entire world with a single bat.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
What is the difference between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point.
What does a gas grenade and a baby have in common?
They both squeal when you throw them.