Way Jokes

your know the only way to win is you have to actually planet

jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool then jack came in and asked jill if she wanted to ride in his new car she said i have to think then jack said at least let me by you a drink after 5 drinks he asked again this time she said yes so they got in the car and jack and jill roed up a hill to to jacks home then jack said (close your eiys i got a supries )so jack lead jill to his room then said open your ies so jill opend her iese then jack got them some red wine jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and jack said i know you wana she said no way so jack gave her one more drink then she passed out then jack ripped all his close off then he did the same to jill then he did it till 3am

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

milk is that the uganda way

Person: Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?

Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.

WHY IS THE SUN RED TODAY?Turned Red Today. Here's Why. As an enormous Atlantic storm batters Ireland, a related phenomenon is turning heads further east over in the United Kingdom. ... Just like the way sunsets are sometimes red, excess particles in the atmosphere can change the color of the sun in the daytime.

A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road

Q.what's the best way to eat a squirrel A.open up its little legs

Prince???? Where are you you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we any way? (I love you so much)

i want a bigger couch why your going to be in the kitchen most the time any way

A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down: TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY".OK!!!

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That's nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can't. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again

Husband and wife are crossing the street, the husband is explaining to the wife why you should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man: So you see Dolly? You should always look both ways before crossing the street.

Man turns and looks to wife, but she is not there!

Man: Dolly? Dolly!

Man looks around and sees Dolly laying dead on the street

Man: Dolly!

He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in french and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking i will never shiver at the sight words

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed. He wouldn't reply. His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day , took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night , Thomas kept on thinking to himself I never said cheese before someone snapt my picture. He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend fillet in him feel better.