Way jokes

An apple a day keeps the doctor away...

Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.... 🥵🤣

Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?

He always gets a great turnout.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.

Here are 4 different ways to do UwU.

1. UwU 2. OwO 3. OwU 4. UwO

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

What did Nemo say to the emo?

"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."

What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?

A Disap point ment.