Way

Way Jokes

Suicide hotline

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

Orphan

Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.

Camp

"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."

- Sun Tzu

Frog

What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?

The frog might be on his way to a gig!

Math

Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.

Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.

Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.

The answer is 0.

Friend

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Suicide

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

Calculator

There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!

Dog

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

Devil

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

Porn

What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we look through.

Death

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

Titanic

*Titanic was sinking.*

Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?

Captain: Two miles.

Passenger: Which way are we going?

Captain: Down.

Girlfriend

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Rumor

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!