water's jokes

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.

I don't see why Africans complain about not having water. They have free chocolate milk.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost a water gun fight.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.

What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!

Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

Orphan: I dip my Oreos in water.

Me: Why?

Orphan: Because my dad did not come back with the milk.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

This guy walked into a pizzeria and ordered a water. The owner called him an idiot.

His girlfriend walked in and ordered a pineapple pizza.

The guy left her, and the owner made her leave.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."

Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?

Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.