water's jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their dad left and never came back home with the milk.

Cow

What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?

A holy cow!

Nun

A bus full of nuns falls off a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Peter. St. Peter says to them, “Sisters, welcome to Heaven. In a moment I will let you all through the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question.”

St. Peter turns to the first nun in the line and asks her, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” The Sister responds, “Well... there was this one time... that I kinda sorta... touched one with the tip of my pinky finger...” St. Peter says, “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” and she did so.

St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says, “Sister, have you ever touched a penis?” “Well.... There was this one time... that I held one for a moment...” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so.

Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun, “Sister Susan, what is this? There is no rush!” Sister Susan responds, “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Mary sticks her ass in it!”

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  • Memes

    Water

    Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:

    Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).

    Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.

    Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!

    Mama

    Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

    Tea

    In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.

    Orphan

    Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?

    Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣

    Mama

    Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!

    Daughter

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.

    Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.

    Nun

    Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

    The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

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  • Beer

    Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?

    A: Fu@king close to water!

    Water

    This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”

    Africa

    How do you get 1 million followers:

    { RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }

    Gun

    What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?

    A water gun...