Waste Jokes

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.

What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

A still from a movie shows two women facing each other closely, with their foreheads nearly touching, and one woman's hand on the other's face. Text overlaid on the image reads "US Government" for the woman on the left and "Wasting Money" for the woman on the right.

I would tell you a recycling joke.

But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I once made a belt out of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

A baby in two dumpsters.

What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.

What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.

What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?

Sally in 13 trash cans.

In my locality, there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too, so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel 'cause everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didn't want to waste any 14-year-old pussy, did he?