Waste jokes

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Why did the stoner cross the road?

He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.

POO I LOVE POO.

Here’s my song:

“Poo poo poo pooo pooe poop poop poopy.”

Thank you!

What wastes your money as you earn it?

Women.

Dumb kid: What does homework mean?

Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?

Me:

"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"

Say hi to outer space. Hi, now say how are you doing to the moon. Hi, how are you doing? Why are you wasting your time? XD lol

Yo mama so stupid that she shit and farted on you, asshole!

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?

One baby in three garbage cans.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?

There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.

What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?

Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

Why was the toilet angry?

Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

You know what pun is used for "waist?"

Nothing. You'll find nothing.

It's just a waste of time.

Connor pooped himself.

What’s worse than Sally in one trash can?

Sally in 13 trash cans.

What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.

What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.

I just threw some cigarette butts on the ground while I was driving.

I wasn't clean after this.

PP in the poo poo.