Waste jokes
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
When it comes to recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
You know what pun is used for "waist?"
Nothing. You'll find nothing.
It's just a waste of time.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.
What do you call a trash bin for 9/11?
Osama Bin Laden.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What’s worse than three babies in one garbage can?
One baby in three garbage cans.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"
"What?"
"They both get thrown out."
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.