Wash jokes
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why do athletes cool down fast? Because they have fans.
Wash your hands.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Why was the astronaut washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"