War jokes
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Orphan
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
Unlike the Americans, Hitler knew when to kill himself.
An American goes on a British bus after being in war. He wants to sit down, so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down, but there is an old woman on the seat with her dog in the next one.
The man says, "Will you move your dog?"
The lady says, "Oh, you Americans are always so demanding," and she says to sit somewhere else. He goes through and finds no seats, so now he's at the back again. This time he throws the dog out the window and sits down.
The man in front says, "You Americans always do things wrong. First, you drive on the wrong side of the road, then hold you knife and fork wrong, and you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"