War jokes
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.