War jokes
I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
When you think about it, Hitler wasn’t a bad person. He killed Hitler.
What do call six gay men going in a war?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.
Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends
What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
Orphan
America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.
Why are Americans such good chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
When you're in the war and you die and say to God, "Where is the gulag?"