Want jokes

Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?

A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.

Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?

A: They are not wanted.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Your uncle.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

Why do men give cold women their jackets?

No man wants a blowjob from a woman with chattering teeth.

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”

The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”

“Hot water?”

“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

So they can be wanted for once.

Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?

Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.