Want jokes

Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?

Alexander the Grape.

Rizz

Are you a basketball hoop? 'Cause I want to put my balls in you.

Are you a photo biographer? 'Cause I can picture us together.

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"

If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

Double!

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Triple!

Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."

I said to Google, "How do I kill someone?" Then I got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front. Before you click it, it says, "If you want to kill someone, we are the right guys." How the f*** did this get in Google?

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

My friend told me to "hang on" when I told him I wanted to kill myself.

Buddy, I’ll be hanging for sure, just you wait.

Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.

I saw my friend hang themselves. My response was, I guess they wanted to hang with someone.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."