Want

Want jokes

Man

  • Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

    Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

    Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."

    Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."

    Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."

    Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."

    Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

    Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

    Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."

    Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

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  • Ex

  • My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

    Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

  • 1
  • Bastard

  • What's the definition of a bastard?

    Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

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  • Dishwasher

  • She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.

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  • Crow

  • Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.

    Mum

  • Me: Want to hear a joke?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

    Friend: What's funny about that?

    Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

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  • Brother

  • Expectation: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!"

    Reality: "Brr, I’m cold!" "Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather."

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  • Ass

  • Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!

    Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.

    Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!

    Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

    Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

    Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!

    Jarod (🤨): Or not?

    Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!

    Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!

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  • Robot

  • Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

    Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

    Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

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  • Blowjob

  • Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?

    Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.

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