Want

Want jokes

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?

"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."

I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.

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  • My ex was an orphan as a child.

    I should have taken that as the first sign.

    If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

    Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?

    Friend: But you're an orphan.

    Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!

    Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?

    Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."

    Women should have the right to choose whether they want to do cooking or cleaning first.