Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
Your mama is so slow, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.
One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
Walking is just running with extra steps.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
