My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!
The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Two cunts were walking down the street.
One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Somebody told me to go to hell, so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
And walk.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
What is the difference between snow boots and snow boots and walk home?
I love the chicken house that is a great place for a walk home, and walk home from a home, and walk home night, and walk home, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school, and walk home from school.
