my math teacher walked by and asked me what is that? I siad paper. she siad really? yeah do you need glasses?
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class. And then he said, "Hey you donkey." I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you. And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular. Sorry
A red head, a dark haired, and blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun! The blonde states " I agree let's leave at night "!
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
A Grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.....The Bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you". The Grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well...Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, "No bitch !" She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew...wakes-up jumps out of bed and he's in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, "Anything left for me Mother?" Andrew asks "Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself "Man...I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "
...two cunts were walking down the street. one was doing calculus, and the other one says, ' imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk....
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach so I walked up to her and said LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!!!!!!!!!
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick I said what up your pussy she said your dick
Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment....
*A man walks into a library* Man: Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide? Librarian: Do you know about our return policy? Suicidal Man: ... Librarian: ... The Woman checking out a book: WHAT THE FUCK?
Somebody told me to go to hell so I walked up to Donald Trump.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says "Bartender, I want to buy that douche bag a drink". The bartender says "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!". The drunk says "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink". The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?". She says "Vinegar and water"
Dog walks into a bar.. & Sez to bartender . I'm looking for the man who shot my paw..
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
And walk
What did a tree 🌳 I do for a human rights rights day at a tree 🌳 I had no time today after a night night with you today but you walk away
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."
What is the difference between the snow boots and a snow boots and walk home 🏠
