Newest Wake Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Beans After Dark
@goodbeanalt
british people be like im bri ish
3:41 PM - Mar 29, 2020 - Twitter for iPhone
ryan
@pavementblood
british ppl wake up in a bathtub full of ice with their
kidneys gone n be like "right. what's all this then?"
quinn
@1JoshGadFan1
British people could watch their
family be murdered and be like
"hmmm i dont quite fancy that"
Caleb
@Axoplox
British people be like "litchrally"

When you wake up from a nap and don't
know what planet you're on
IG: @davie_dave

When you wake up from a
nightmare then go back to sleep
and it continues from where it
left off

When ya momma wake u up in the
morning and u fall back asleep and you
hear her coming
4/10/17, 10:59 PM
@realbaeposts
yafavpinner
Flore deepTable

How I wake up knowing
that I've got O political
beliefs and just say things
to annoy people

File: 1386105255853 jpg-(18 KB. 300x300. tSrfb2A.jpg)
B)
Anonymous 12/03/13(Tue)15: 14:15 UTC-6 No.519
So /b/, this is the first time I've shared this story
>mother
>fucking
>9/11
>be me
>be 18
>at a house party
>girl is talking to me
>we're wasted
>time to go to the love station
>says she wants to wait until morning
>so she can "remember it"
>wake up in the morning next to her
>she's already awake watching the news or some shit
>start making out
>put my hand in her panties
>she's moaning
>says "what the fuck" in a te
terrified voice
> "holy fuck my dad works there"
>immediately gets up and pulls out her cell phone
>look at TV just in time
>second plane crashes into tower
>she starts balling uncontrollably
That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda

wake up, sheeple.
PLANET:
DEATHS:
0
0
120,315,672,896+
0
0
0
0
0
0
HAS BIRDS:
NO
NO
YES
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO

Me: September is here!

[labor day comes]

Also me (ft. Green Day) “Wake me up when September ends!

🛏️

My bed when I try to sleep:
My bed when I try to wake up:

Oof

People who
wake up at 6AM
People who are still
awake at 6AM

Comment this emoji 🤣 if you can relate

When you wake up from a 3 hour nap
and do that weird stretch thing

i had to stop drinking because i got tired of waking up in my car driving 90

dad: "honey ill be right back i need to get some papers " me: "ok" falls asleep.. *wakes up in an adoption center* damn it was those kind of papers..

on school days too..

rawsauce
When you go for a 20 minute nap and
wake up 7 hours later

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison

Yo mama so stupid she tried to wake up sleeping pills.

😴 🛌 ⏰️ ✋️ If a gay male is married to a well-endowed physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up do he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up? Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob

there is this little boy and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?" She replies with, "These are my headlights." He looks down and says mommy what's that? she says that my garage. so he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says what is that? the dad says this is my snake. later that night he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams mommy, mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage, Daddy's snake is trying to get in!