Wait

Wait jokes

Once a man goes to a restaurant. Then, he was waiting until the waitress comes and tells him that they don't have food.

He was grumpy, but the waitress make him relaxing by unbuttoning her pants and undressing her panties and uncovering clothes from her pussy until everything get striped, then she say to him: "Good meal."

Fork pierces the flesh. Guided by hunger's demand, Savoury feast waits.

Tines dig deep within, Seeking the sustenance craved, A mealtime delight.

Belly grumbles loud, Yearning for nourishment's touch, Fork answers the call.

Food on the platter, Fork dances with anticipation, To satiate hunger's plea.

Digestion begins, Fork's journey now complete, Nourishing the soul.

Why does the fork go? To bring joy to empty hearts, Satiating needs.

In the stomach's depths, Fork finds purpose and solace, A culinary bond.

With each mealtime tale, The fork carves memories deep, In stomachs it rests.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.

Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!

Wife: Kid?

Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"

A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"

The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."

The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"

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    • Weed: *gets hit by his own power*

    Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?

    Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?

    if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

    A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

    The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"

    Btw friend here also wants to do suicide.

    Friend: Why did I cross the road? Me: To get to the other side. Friend: True!

    Friend: Hey let's go hang out at the forest today! Me: Ok *grabs ropes for the both of us and rushes outside bc this is a lucky day* Friend: Hey at least we did it!

    Friend: What's the best thing about me? Me: You will eventually end. Friend: Hmmmmmm . . . true!

    Friend: What historical time influenced you the most? Me: The great depression.

    If I could be an object I'd be glass because I'm see-through and I can shatter with the minimum difficulty immediately!

    My parents sometimes say I'm their sunshine! . . . because I'm painful if you look at me.

    Teacher: What does km/s mean? Me+like almost all of the class: *in unison* It means kill myself but misspelled.

    Friend: What's the best way to end a game? Me: With death. Friend: . . . Hmmm now that you think about it yeah! That's the best way!

    When you're about to jump down a cliff but you realize that you can't litter there.

    Google says that you're about 75% water but I'm made of 101% depression 101% anxiety 101% suicidal 101% stress.

    Brain be like will_to_live.exe, happiness.exe, and many more others not found also you have now got crippling_depression.exe, anxiety.exe, suicide_thoughts.exe, suicide_attempts, and stressful_life.exe so so so much many more.

    How do you keep weeds away? Just put a bucket of crippling depression and suicidal thought and attempts in the soil and then they just kill themselves. Problem solved.

    When you take antidepressants but they don't work it will just make you more depressed and that's a fact.

    A bored depressed suicidal person: *sees a dying person* Dying person: P-l-pls c-c-c-call m-me a-an amb-b-bulancccee *wheeze* *dies* Bored depressed suicidal person: Hmmmm ur an ambulance Dying person: *manages to get back up* Bored depressed suicidal person: Oooooohh goddddd Dying person: *in a demonic tone* BUT NOT FOR ME~

    Roses are red, Inside I'm dead, I have crippling depression, Some one pls shoot my head.

    When you finally open up to a person who you think will care and understand but it turns out that they don't. You: *panickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanickingpanicking*

    The only time you should lift your spirits up is when your gonna hang yourself.

    A made-up story starting now. So I went to school as usual. There's a school shooting. All the depressed suicidal people: *crave death* *walks up to shooter* all say KILL ME A made-up story starting ending.

    In this one the friend isn't suicidal. Friend: Wanna play a game? Me: Life wait no a game has a meaning. Friend: . . . *crickets* Friend: Calls suicide hotline. Me: Wait no!!!!!

    Me: *has crippling depression* *asks mom why I was born* Mom: Hmmm I think I was drunk and on a lotta drugs. Me: Hmmm tysm *gets the rope* Mom: *making hanging puns* Me: *hurries to the trash truck*

    Me: At this point I've lived about a decade depressed and suicidal that I don't struggle with it now, I'm good at it and it's all normal.

    Hope you enjoyed.