Vs jokes
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
What's the difference between an orphan and an Egyptian?
Egyptians have mummies.
Almost FRIDAY
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
The apples actually get picked.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
What's the difference between Madeline Mikan and a boomerang?
Boomerangs come back.
What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?
An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”