Back
Violence

Violence jokes

I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Did you laugh?

One time I was playing a bongo at a Chinese restaurant.

But they were competing against a Cuban restaurant and killed me.

Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

Man yelling at mailman realizes he's opening the mailbox.

Mailman: "There's a pipe bomb in your mailbox..."

What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?

Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.