Versus jokes
What is the difference between a human and a can?
A human can walk and a can cannot walk.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? One's a busy ditch.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
How come I have a father but not a dad?
He was a priest.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
VVD [is] better than Sergio Ramos.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
What's the difference between an umbrella and a tree?
I don't know.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?
The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.